Love Means Letting Others Help

A wife’s journey from exhaustion to peace of mind, supported by the compassionate, team-based care found in long-term care homes across Ontario.

Location: Stoney Creek, Ontario   

“I always say that if I didn’t trust them, I wouldn’t leave him here,” says Maria, a devoted wife and caregiver who spent over 20 years caring for her husband, Carlo, at home.” 

Ask Maria who at Madison Village was instrumental in her husband’s transition to long-term care, and she won’t be able to pick just one person. “It’s everyone,” she says as she gestures around her, “Everyone here is so kind and respectful. They do their job with love.

That’s exactly what Maria was looking for when she decided it was time to move her husband into long-term care. Maria (82) and Carlo (85) have been married for 63 years. For more than 20 years, she looked after him at home.

In 2004, Carlo suffered a stroke that affected the right side of his body. Last November, Carlo moved to Madison Village – a long-term care home just a block away from their family home.  

“He couldn’t walk anymore, and he couldn’t do anything for himself,” says Maria. Carlo’s needs grew more complex when he developed dementia and it quickly became clear that Maria wouldn’t be able to provide the level of care he required. “He was falling a lot and sliding out of bed. I was up all night with him. It was exhausting, but I kept him at home because I loved him,” she says 

Maria credits her family for helping her make the decision to apply for long-term care. “My kids were the ones who said, ‘Mom, you’ve done everything you can. It’s time for us to support you, and we need to get Dad the care he needs,” she recalls. “It was hard to hear, but they were right.” Maria says she was starting to experience panic attacks and underwent a shoulder replacement when the realization struck her, “I knew I couldn’t do it on my own anymore.”  

It took Maria a while to make the decision to move her husband into long-term care. When she looks back, she says she had no idea how much easier life would become for both of them.  “When I come for a visit, they always offer me a seat or a glass of water and ask me what I need. They always make sure both of us feel comfortable and happy.”  

Maria says Madison Village is now her second home. She visits with her husband every day, not because she has to, but because she wants to. “I come every day, sometimes at lunch, sometimes in the evening. I want to be involved in his life. Bingo is his favourite. We play two times a week,” she shares. “They treat him like family here, and that makes me feel at ease. I trust them completely. I’m happy with the care he’s getting.”  

For Maria, the transition to long-term care has brought her peace of mind. “I’m not overwhelmed with the burden of caregiving anymore,” she says. “I can still be there for him, but I’m not alone. And I know he’s in good hands.”  

Names changed to protect the privacy of Maria and Carlo. A special thank you to both of them for sharing their story.