Helping residents cope with loss means being open and honest
Stop using replacement words for death and dying, says counsellor
Friday October 31, 2008 -- Deron Hamel
KINGSTON, Ont. - When it comes to helping residents in long-term care cope with loss, the first thing caregivers need to do is feel comfortable communicating in an open and honest manner, says a certified grief expert and counsellor.

And this starts with putting a stop to using words and phrases like “passed away” or “lost” when making reference to someone who has died, says Dawn Cruchet.

This was Cruchet’s message during her Oct. 23 presentation entitled “Loss Overload: Helping Patients and Families Adjust to Stroke and Loss,” as part of the 2008 Activity Professionals of Ontario (APO) conference.

If caregivers have trouble saying the words “death,” “dying” and “dead,” they will most likely find it difficult to talk to residents about other losses brought on by strokes or dementia, says Cruchet.

Feeling comfortable by not sugar-coating words is the first step caregivers can take in helping residents face loss and move along in their life journey, she adds.

“If they can’t say the words ‘death,’ ‘die,’ ‘dead,’ then how are they going to ask people what it’s like to have a stroke?” says Cruchet. “By opening things up and being honest with people, it values what they’re going through.”

Caregivers need to listen carefully to what residents say about their losses, says Cruchet. In many cases, people have gone straight from living in a house with their spouse to living in a long-term care home because of their illness or condition.

Caregivers need to ask what the loss feels like in order to better empathize with the resident, she adds.

If there’s one thing Cruchet says she would like to see caregivers bring back to long-term care homes from the presentation, it’s the idea that by starting off small you can make a significant difference when it comes to helping people deal with loss and the grief that comes with it.

This can have a trickle-down effect, she notes.

“(Caregivers) can try some of the communication techniques with one person or one family, and there can be a ripple effect from there and they can see it works,” she says.

More information can be found by visiting Cruchet’s website.

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